Vol. 4,
No. 2, 2005
Servant of the Lotus Feet:
A Hare Krishna Odyssey
S. Gabriel
Brandis
Universe,
Inc. (New York, 2004)
Reviewed by
Nori
Muster
In a memoir that reads
like a novel, Gabriel Brandis recounts his
experience in the Hare Krishna Movement, aka
International Society for Krishna
Consciousness (ISKCON), from 1980 to 1984.
The story begins at the end of his freshman
year at Bucks County Community College in
Pennsylvania. He travels to Boston College,
hoping to transfer there for his last two
years. Instead of college counselors and
grant administrators, he meets Hare Krishna
devotees, joins their temple on Commonwealth
Avenue, and drops out of college.
Gabriel takes some hard
knocks in school that contribute to his
decision to drop out. For example, his
bicycle “disappears” after his roommate
cleans out the garage, and then he is fired
from his job at the library. He comments, “I
soon realized that contempt for materialism
caused me to lose my job” (p. 11). Gabriel
intended to work through these setbacks and
finish college. However, what ISKCON
promised was too good to turn down: a life
of spiritual bliss, free from the ordinary
frustrations of the material world.
Gabriel explains that
unresolved issues with his family,
especially his parents’ divorce, made him
vulnerable to joining the temple. He
describes visits with his father as
“inevitable torment” (p. 9). He recalls a
story from childhood when he tried to set
his father up in a fight with another kid’s
father. When his father wouldn’t fight,
Gabriel recalls thinking, “He wasn’t the
tough guy with the leather strap I thought
he was” (p. 10). The reader gets the message
that Gabriel’s ongoing conflict with his
father is a major factor in his need to
belong to the cult.
He cites the failure of
his religious Jewish upbringing to engage
him spiritually and his lifelong search for
a meaningful spiritual way of life as the
third reason he was drawn into full
commitment so easily. (I joined ISKCON under
a similar set of circumstances for similar
reasons. I was coming up to the end of
college, still carrying grief and buried
anger over my parents’ divorce, and was not
interested in the prospects of a “material”
career. Like Gabriel, I was searching for a
spiritual way of life.)
Although Gabriel
Brandis doesn’t come out and say it, the
book shows that ISKCON’s skill at recruiting
new members often outweighs the desires of
young people to face life’s battles on their
own. ISKCON appeared to offer him a loving
family of spiritual friends, great food, and
answers to all spiritual questions and
longings. Like so many who joined up,
Gabriel had seen ISKCON literature in
libraries and had become interested in the
philosophy before meeting ISKCON recruiters.
He meets devotees in
the park, visits the temple the next day,
and stays overnight. Based on this brief
encounter, he decides to drop out of college
and move in. It all happens very quickly. He
comments:
I had always believed that there are no
accidents in life. Conversations with the
Krishna devotees over those past couple days
led me to a transparent door; on one side
was the mundane reality of Commonwealth
Avenue, and on the other the eternal glory
of the spiritual world. Having considered
the situation, I decided to embrace the
monastic life (p. 22).
There may be no
accidents in life, but there definitely are
traps. I know from personal experience that
ISKCON is on the lookout for spiritual
seekers who appear lost. Their recruiters
are trained to single such people out and
help them frame their experiences in terms
of a destiny to join up.
In the first few days
after moving in, Gabriel learns the ISKCON
bathroom routines, how to wear the Indian
clothes, and how to put on the forehead
markings. He begins to attend the morning
program, including all the chanting, and so
on, and painfully accepts the restrictions
on mixing with the opposite sex. He also
begins to accept the ISKCON indoctrination
of guilt and fear. At first he has trouble
staying awake to chant, but his new bhakta
leader (mentor) gets him to believe that,
“One’s ability to remain awake while
chanting is equated with how much love and
devotion the worshiper has for the blue god,
Krishna” (p. 31).
Within a few days,
Gabriel turns over his earthly belongings: a
silver college ring, traveler’s checks, his
train ticket back to school, and even his
clothes. He says, “I expected a thank you,
but it never came” (p. 33). He also lets
them shave his head. In addition, they make
him turn over his journal. He accepts it as
necessary because, “By keeping a journal
now, comparing the present with the life I
renounced, my elevation to pure devotional
service would be hindered” (p. 35). Gabriel
does not actually say so, but the reader
gets the impression that giving up the
journal is part of ISKCON’s program to
dehumanize new converts and break all
connections to their former lives. The
temple authorities let him call his mother
to tell her where he is and she is
devastated.
Within a week of living
in the temple, Gabriel turns nineteen. By
that time he has completely morphed into an
ISKCON devotee, with all the
self-deprecating attitudes of long-time
followers. Of his birthday, he writes:
“Being the commemoration of the birth of my
body it was of no significance. Only the
birth of Krishna’s pure devotees, so few in
number, is celebrated as an ‘Appearance Day’
” (p. 42).
He fully buys into the
guru mystique. He explains:
The mystique was that the pure devotee could
“see” his disciple at every moment as though
looking into a crystal ball. Fear of
offending the spiritual master by thought,
word or deed is sufficient to keep the
earnest disciple obedient (p. 59).
He learns to lie for
the organization the first time he goes out
to sell books, a practice known as
sankirtan. His sankirtan leader tells
him to give someone a button and say he’s
raising money for a children’s school.
Gabriel asks, “Do we have a school?” He
learns that the words don’t matter. The
object is to get the money, because anyone
who gives money to ISKCON will not have to
go to hell. Gabriel catches on and becomes a
star sankirtan devotee through most
of his four years. He comes to see himself
as a spiritual soldier “on the battlefield,
preaching to the conditioned souls, and
rescuing dollars from their lustful grips”
(p. 60).
Although he tells
himself he is happy with his new life, the
text reveals that he is unhappy. For
example, at his first ratha-yatra cart
festival, he contemplates suicide, because
it is said that anyone who dies under the
ratha-yatra cart wheels goes back to
Godhead.
I eyed those carnival wheels, imagining what
it would be like to lie down in the street,
my neck in front of where the wheel would
pass, surrounded by dozens of chanting and
dancing devotees. Freedom from the torments
of this fleshy body, and the mind’s constant
cravings would be mine. I would
instantaneously become Krishna conscious for
eternity (p. 54).
The organization’s
brainwashing shows in his attitudes toward
practically everything that happens. In one
passage a woman devotee is injured in a car
accident and her face is permanently scarred
from shattered glass. He easily adopts the
ISKCON party line:
The underlying belief was that Rasa-Lila
Devi, known for
being a sincere devotee, was too “attached”
to her own beauty, so Krishna affected it
for her spiritual well-being (p. 55).
Gabriel’s portrayal is
chilling, but accurate. ISKCON trained its
devotees to frame everything in terms of
guilt for breaking the rules. If someone is
too attached to their own beauty, Krishna
will “smash” them. If a baby dies, it’s
Krishna’s arrangement to break the parents’
material attachments, and so on. In ISKCON
there is always a reason for everything that
happens, usually something that frightens
people into clinging ever more tightly to
ISKCON’s shelter.
One of the most
significant themes of the book is Gabriel’s
relationship to his guru, Bhavananda.
Although Gabriel wants to admire Bhavananda
and put him on a pedestal, Bhavananda is
thoroughly undeserving of worship. It is
obvious to the reader that Bhavananda is a
fake. (This is not reported in Servant of
the Lotus Feet, but in 1985, Bhavananda,
supposedly a sannyasi (celibate
priest) confessed to forbidden active
homosexuality. The ISKCON Governing Body
Commission (GBC) then ordered him to give up
the company of his traveling companion and
stop giving initiations. When he ignored
those orders, the GBC defrocked and expelled
him in 1987. Bhavananda later returned to
ISKCON in the 1990s.)
Reading Gabriel’s
account of his guru-disciple relationship
with this charlatan is hilariously
horrifying. On one hand, the disciple feels
guilty over every minor infraction, such as
looking at a woman with “lust.” Meanwhile,
the guru is carrying on an active sexual
life and enjoying plenty of material
comforts, such as flying around the world
first-class, decorating his fingers with
jeweled gold rings, and driving around in a
chauffeured white limousine.
Several of Gabriel’s
references to Bhavananda make the reader
wonder whether he is purposely hinting at
the guru’s peccadilloes. For example, this
is how he describes one of the other
initiates: “Pradyumna, born and raised in
England, was flagrantly gay. (p. 92). In the
next breath he explains: “I couldn’t help
but be jealous of Pradyumna. That frivolous
fellow always got the “special mercy” of
Vishnupada’s [Bhavananda’s] private
association in his chamber” (p. 92)
Later, he follows with:
“Pradyumna always made a game of it,
generating an air of mystery about his
encounter[s] behind Srila Vishnupada’s
closed door” (p. 94).
Some things in ISKCON
were just secret. In my research after
leaving the organization, I discovered
underground cultures of both homosexual and
heterosexual activity among the sannyasis
and their associates. There was also a
culture of drug use that was kept secret
from the rank and file. Gabriel is not aware
of this side of ISKCON until later, when he
is deprogrammed. Even then, the
deprogrammers only touch on the underlying
deceit that is now more out in the open,
decades later.
As a devotee, Gabriel
only knew what the leaders told him and was
not aware of details of the larger troubles
plaguing ISKCON and its leaders. His
knowledge of the problems is extremely
limited and naďve. For example, there was a
huge problem in New Vrindaban during those
years, which included child abuse, drug
smuggling, prostitution, and murder. As a
consequence, the guru from that zone later
spent twelve years in jail (1992 – 2004).
One aspect of the history was that the guru
used to send his followers all over the
country to do sankirtan in other
gurus’ zones. When Gabriel encountered New
Vrindaban devotees in his territory at a
Grateful Dead concert in Hartford,
Connecticut, he explains, “Although they
were to be respected as Krishna’s devotees
they were regarded as renegades by much of
the Hare Krishna movement” (p. 65). That’s
all he says about it, because that’s all the
ordinary devotees knew.
The organization was
writhing with guru problems, but Gabriel
only repeats the party line: “The
International Society for Krishna
Consciousness had been undergoing major
internal political changes since the
‘disappearance,’ (i.e. death, for the reader
unfamiliar with the jargon) of Srila
Prabhupada in 1977 (p. 67). Later he offers
up this rumor with innocent curiosity:
“There was even talk that some of the
spiritual masters, Krishna’s purest devotees
on earth, were living secret lives of
passion and deceit” (p. 125). Later he adds,
“Other spiritual masters were facing
criminal charges for serious shenanigans.
One by one, the candles of pure devotional
service to Krishna were burning out” (p.
190).
In several instances,
he mentions a rumor that Ramesvara, the guru
for the West Coast, was involved with
prostitutes. This is the first time I heard
that rumor, even though Ramesvara was my
“guru” when I was involved. Though it later
came out that Ramesvara had other problems,
I never heard that he went to prostitutes.
But who knows? There used to be a saying
among fringe members that every rumor in
ISCKON grows from a grain of truth.
At the end of the book,
the deprogrammers show Gabriel newspaper
articles about ISKCON’s crimes. He listens
to tapes and watches videos of former
devotees disclosing what they know about
ISKCON’s failings. The deprogrammers
introduce Gabriel to former members who tell
him what the organization is really like.
Finding out the truth about ISKCON helps
Gabriel reject his affiliation and give up
the indoctrination he had accepted.
Gabriel’s crucial
turning point comes way before the
deprogramming, however. It happens at the
end of Part I, when his guru is giving a
class. Gabriel challenges Bhavananda with
this question:
Guru-ji, the
Hare Krishna philosophy teaches that we are
all individuals, and that we each have a
unique relationship with Krishna. Yet every
day the devotees do the same activities,
dress the same, and eat the same. I don’t
see where I am becoming an individual? (p.
125)
Gabriel recalls: “The
blue-eyed guru turned red. ‘You Hasidic,
Mayavadi
apparadhe
. . . Have you no gratitude for what has
been done for you?’ ” (p. 125) Gabriel says,
“I didn’t know whether to throw myself off
the rooftop, or fall at the feet of His
Grace begging forgiveness” (p. 125). He also
recounts the condemnation of his peers for
challenging the guru. This encounter changes
Gabriel from a submissive follower to a
follower with doubts. He begins to realize
that he is an asset to the organization only
as long as he brings in money and doesn’t
ask any tough questions.
He also begins to
realize that he is criticizing himself for
things that are the fault of the
organization. The most blatant example is
that the organization expected devotees to
solicit donations without permits. Over the
course of the book he is taken to jail,
detained, and ushered off of private
property by security guards as a matter of
routine. In each incident he tries to cling
to the ISKCON party line, blaming himself
for the predicament because of his lack of
faith, or because of his minor spiritual
infractions, such as his “lust” or his
“attachments” to the material world.
The reader wants to
shake the poor fellow to get him to see
what’s really going on. He is being used to
raise money and made to feel guilty for
everything that goes wrong. His telling of
these dilemmas seems true to life. Outsiders
who want to understand how brainwashing
works will learn well from reading Gabriel’s
descriptions. Brainwashing goes deep. Even
after undergoing a full deprogramming, he
writes in the last chapter, “I understood
that the Hare Krishnas are a destructive
cult, but it would be years before I could
verbalize it without fearing the wrath of
God” (p. 218).
The book is a page
turner and true to the experience. As an
author, Gabriel put himself back into the
situation to explain what it was like at
each stage. In Part I he is a willing
participant, but Part II portrays his
disillusionment, leading to his separation
from ISKCON. Part II is a study in rebellion
against the brainwashers’ rules. He says it
himself:
How is it possible to have respect and
devotion for a cause when that sentiment no
longer exists? That’s what happened in the
temple room that night when I inadvertently
revealed the little Oz man, my “spiritual
master,” behind the grand façade. Ever since
then, I simply went through the motions of
being Krishna’s devotee” (p. 179).
His feelings toward his
guru change from awe and reverence to
wishing he could “kick this little man
squarely in the ass” (p. 181).
As an expression of his
discontent, he starts to skim money off his
collections. He saves up about $800 to buy a
ticket to Hawaii, where he imagines temple
life will be easier. However, he turns the
money over to his guru and confesses
instead. He asks to trade in his job
collecting money for a job in the kitchen,
which makes him happy for a time. Still, he
finds his enthusiasm slipping. He stops
waking up early and takes hot showers
instead of the required cold showers.
Breaking ISKCON’s rules of austerity, he
starts to enjoy things like sunsets,
fireworks displays, and looking at women. He
even ducks into a peep show cinema one
afternoon.
Another theme of the
book is his relationship with his parents,
which he portrays with touching and
realistic emotion. Like Gabriel, and me,
many full time ISKCON members stayed in
contact with their parents. Often, it’s the
only connection that ISKCON cannot
completely stamp out, and often it is an
individual’s lifeline to eventually leave
the organization. It was true for me as it
was for Gabriel. His parents eventually lure
him out and have him deprogrammed.
Meanwhile, a tension builds throughout the
book with the reader asking when Gabriel is
going to come to his senses and stop hurting
his parents by remaining in the group. Even
by the end of the story, he has not
completely resolved the conflict with his
father.
One of the last scenes
is a Passover Seder with his father and his
father’s side of the family. Gabriel still
thinks he’s a member of ISKCON and therefore
refuses to eat most of the ritual meal, even
the matzah,
because “the karma of the non-devotee was
baked into it” (p. 198). Despite his
fanaticism, his father and other relatives
remain tolerant. Perhaps it’s because they
know that the deprogramming will take place
the following day.
The father makes a
small joke about Gabriel’s ISKCON clothing
and Gabriel comments, “He had a way of
ridiculing whatever I held sacred” (p. 198).
The tension is never resolved, but the
reader hopes that Gabriel will someday come
to terms with his own part in the conflict
and use the lessons he learned in his
odyssey to make peace with his father.
Another interesting
note at the end of the book is his portrayal
of the competition between ex-ISKCON members
to see who is more detached from the
organization. Some ex-members leave the
confines of temple life, but remain
infatuated with the Hindu philosophy, the
practices of ISKCON, and the guru Srila
Prabhupada. Others renounce everything about
the experience and convert to another
religion, or go into the field of counseling
cult members who might leave. Most find a
comfortable place somewhere in between.
In the epilogue,
Gabriel describes meeting a woman he
remembered from his days in the
organization. Both had been deprogrammed and
they exchange stories about their
experiences. She says, “It was a shock, but
I was happy to get out.” He says, “I think
if Hare Krishna was a mainstream religion,
and not a rigid cult, it would be okay.” She
says, “Personally, I want nothing to do with
it.” He says she looked at him “as though I
should be back in deprogramming” (p. 216).
The exchange hints at
the fact that deprogramming does not solve
all of life’s problems. There will still be
plenty to learn and plenty of cult
programming to undo as the years go on.
Brainwashing and cult membership leave a
scar that the ex-member must learn to
accommodate and live with forever. This book
offers a dramatic case study that shows
exactly how and why this is so.
This book will be
valuable to people who study cult
programming. It will also find an audience
among people who enjoy novels about cults.
It should stand up well along side well
known novels about cults, such as Mind
Game, by Norman
Spinrad (1985),
Kalki, by Gore Vidal (1998),
and The Program: A Novel, by
Gregg Hurwitz (2004). Those books are
powerful, but mere fiction. Servant of
the Lotus Feet is true.
